My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize