He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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