dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize