he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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