Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girl is more easily done than said...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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