My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
