chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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