PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
