I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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