The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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