Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
