Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
