so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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