she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
