I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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