he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize