CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize