I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
