I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
