Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
