I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
