i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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