areolas are like halos for boobs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize