Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
