and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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