A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
