do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
