Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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