Already got asked if we're dating
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My feet surprised me
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