apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
