I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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