You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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