i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
worst night to have a conscience
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
