So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You pole danced in your parka.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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