**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
