He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is the high leading the old right now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
