He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
