The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize