Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
