so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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