it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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