No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize