smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
