He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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