just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize