Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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