i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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