Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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