Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize