he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
