Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
