Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
