he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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