I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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