Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
