you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
