I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
