Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
