Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
