I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
