I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
