He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
