we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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