Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize