ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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