So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
