Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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