one two three fourrrrnication!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
