I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
